This is my contribution to the “Welcome to the New World” campaign. I hope you like it.
I can’t believe he’s gone. He’s thirty-five, six years older than me. Way too young to die. Then again, he didn’t die of natural causes. He died horribly on the streets of some messed up third world country, shot by some guy trying to do business with him.
It turns out they are not the respectable businessmen Steve thought they were, but high class drug dealers trying to get into legitimate business. His rivals took the opportunity to eliminate them as business rivals and ambushed them with machine guns. Four to be exact. Steve was shot seventeen times, all lucky bullets, which cut him almost in half. If there is any consolation it is that he didn’t suffer for long and died of blood loss in a matter of minutes. I wonder if he thought about his beautiful wife Jean and their upcoming plans to start a family. I wonder if he had time to regret it and realize that he should be happy with what he has. Heck, he’s already a millionaire many times over.
Steve is not like that. He is obsessive and always looking for that ultimate deal that will give him rock star status among his peers. He really thought that was it. He discussed it with me, as he does in all his dealings. We usually fish on his boat, just for ourselves. I looked at him and just smiled. “You really expect a smart answer? Shit, I can’t understand what you are saying most of the time. That gives me a headache. Now, are you here for Mr. Big or something?”
He will smile in response. “Sure, Mr. Big. Hey, did I show you my new wand? It’s supposed to be the best. Do you think it will help me? Oh, I know you don’t care or understand what I’m saying, it helps me to say it out loud.
I can only sigh. He’d be messing with this rod that probably cost a third of my annual income, and he’d get angry, throw it away, and then pick up this five-and-a-half foot old rod that looked almost antique. It got to the point that I gave him a Zebco 33 and he started fishing. He’d spent probably ten pounds on fishing tackle including a boat in the time I knew him. When I tried to teach him he never listened and almost died on the hook before he even caught a fish, but he enjoyed trying.
My experience with Uncle Sam taught me that there can be no safe place to talk. Any ship we can see is probably equipped with equipment that allows them to listen to our conversations as if they were standing behind us. Not to mention hacked phone calls, videos and conversations analyzed by lip readers, the opportunities are endless. But I let him go. What he said had nothing to do with national security or corporate espionage, so he’s probably safe. I spoke for the first time since we met.
“You need to think about it, man. I’ve been where you’re going, but it’s not Paris. People there will slit your throat for your watch and your shoes. Hire security and almost listen to them when you’re there. Nobody is what they seem.
He just smiled and tried to persuade me to come with him. I politely declined.
After a few hours, he gave up on Mr. Big and found comfort in brother Bud. Jane frowned as I helped him out of the truck and into the living room, where we laid him on the couch. Within a few minutes he was snoring. “Do you want me to put him to bed?”
Jane smiled sadly. “Not at all. Let him sleep there, and when he wakes up with a stiff neck and a sore back, he’ll probably think for a second before doing it again. I swear, James, you bring out the best in him and the worst in him on one hand.
I shrugged. “I think it’s just a natural talent. Of course, his other friends were sometimes disappointed when they brought him home.”
I didn’t know how to take his answer. “He doesn’t have any other friends, James. Everyone else wants something from him, or he wants something from them. With these people, you don’t just hang out. Every party is a business meeting; every party, every social event is just an opportunity to network, all for the Benjamins, baby.”
“That can’t be true, when he was around me we rarely talked about business. Most of the time it was about hunting, fishing, wild women we met and slept with, women who got away, women we wished we had left. Woman warming up cars, bicycles, boats and when he did talk about business, I didn’t understand half of it.
“And that,” Jane sighed, “is why he loves you. You don’t care about his money, his status, or his sharp business skills. You just care about the good times we spend together. One of the things. Time.
He looked at her and sighed. He told me they should go on a date night; business was so busy that he was ignoring her. This was not a good idea because not only was she smoking hot, but she was hot like a blast furnace. She worked as a model until she stopped modeling after marriage. She still works out and maintains a hot figure. When she walked down the street, men would walk into doorways and buildings. I know because I have seen it. In addition to her attractive body, she also has a perfect face, a beautiful smile, slightly curled lips, and disturbing blue eyes.
The first three times I was with her, I was speechless and almost speechless. Eventually she let me shoot her three times and then proceeded to tell me thirty minutes of the dirtiest, most obscene jokes I had ever heard. I laughed so hard that I forgot my shyness and from then on we were friends. I have an idea.
‘Do you have any jeans?’ I’ve never seen her in anything other than dresses and skirts.
“The closet is full, why?”
“Any boots? Maybe cowboy boots?”
She smiled for the first time. “Why James, are you perverted? Because if you are, I have thigh-high black boots that fit perfectly with my leather corset and whip. If you mean regular shoes, I have snakeskin, ostrich leather, and plain old leather boots”.
When I stopped blushing and she stopped laughing, I asked her. She seemed surprised and asked me why.
“Because, Jane, you need to get out and let go. Let Sleeping Beauty lie and I will take you to a world you have never experienced before.”
He stopped smiling and I quickly explained. “I’m going to a little club tonight, and I’m sure you’ll like it. You are a very beautiful woman, and I believe that ninety nine percent of the men in this world would fall at your feet, hoping for a chance to get close to you. You and I are the one percent here, I don’t cross the line, I’m just giving you a chance to have fun and maybe shake that delicious ass of yours for me, I think I’ll provide that.
“Will there be beer, rednecks, or a bar fight or two?”
“Yes to the first two. No to the rest. You will not cause any trouble at that place. If you do, it will be extremely painful. Behave indecently with a woman and the bodyguards will have to go through the crowd to find the guy. When we got there they just had to take out the trash. It was a couples-friendly place and they wanted me to keep it that way.”
I stood up from the kitchen table, washed my coffee cup and placed it on the counter. Jane always joked that with my cleanliness I would make a good wife one day.
“We’ll choose the Jaguar.”
“We’re going to drive a truck. If you drive that Jaguar, every cool kid in the place will drool. Now, jeans and a nice shirt. Jane, can you turn down the heat a little? The way you are, I’d get kicked a dozen times to protect you.”
She stuck her tongue out and asked me to wait ten minutes. I told her I needed to go home, take a shower, get rid of the fishy smell, and put on some clean clothes. She took my hand and led me to the master bedroom, which made me uncomfortable.
“Stand here!” She went into his closet, a twelve by twelve room packed to the brim. Twice the size of hers. I heard her open a drawer and she came back with jeans, a western shirt and python boots. I was led down the hall to a guest room with a large bathroom.
“Here you go. He bought these new ones a year ago, right after he met you, and he’s never worn them. I didn’t get you boxer briefs, so these are for you going commando, big boy. Now pack them up.” It was clean, and I went down twenty minutes after we met.
Steve and I have a very similar build, even the shoes are the same. The only difference between us is our height.’ He was half an inch taller. With the same hair and eyes people think we are brothers most of the time. I showered, enjoyed several shower heads, shaved with a tool I found under the counter and got dressed. I have to admit I look pretty good. Well, they say a man lives in his clothes.
If she tried to lower her tone, it wouldn’t work. Those jeans looked so tight I was worried all the seams would fly off if she sneezed. A western blouse, light pink, that matched her lipstick, and her curly hair was pulled back in what I thought was a ponytail, but it looked sexy. She had a white Stetson hat on and wore bright red shoes.
“How do I look?” she asked, turning around.
“Trouble, you look like trouble.”
She giggled. “That’s exactly what I want. Now let’s go.”
We looked over at Steve, who was now snoring while hugging a pillow. Jen wrote him a note and placed it on the coffee table next to a bottle of water and three Tylenol pills. We took his truck because mine was still on the dock. It’s a shiny new Z71 four-door all-wheel drive in pearl white and big pieces of gleaming chrome. Well, as I walked toward the bar, I thought, at least he has a truck.
Forty minutes later we arrived at the barn, a huge building and guess what, it looked like a barn! Nearly everyone outside was staring at the truck, but when I got out of the car and helped Jane out, everyone immediately thought “what truck?” and looked at Jane. She knew this and was used to the attention, strutting into the place like she owned it. She had a death grip on my arm, so maybe she wasn’t as confident as she sounded.
There is no other way to describe it, when we walked in the door everything stopped and people just stared. The place, usually noisy, suddenly became quiet before the orchestra started. I just smiled and kept walking and waved for Mary to bring a pitcher. In less than three minutes she arrived. She poured beer over Jane and then watched it spill over the table. I gently took her hand and stopped the flow. She lowered her head, blushed and began to apologize. Jane patted her arm. “Don’t worry, dear. It was like that when I first met James.”
Mary looked from her side to me, mumbled something and walked away, bumping into two tables before returning to the bar. I laughed. “Careful, Jenny. Mary is a pinch hitter and has a high on-base average.”
Jane smiled. “Well, he just has bad luck. I quit two teams after college.”
I looked at the friends I was meeting, shook hands and made introductions. It took forty-five minutes and three beers for them to relax, and by then Jane had charmed them enough to be willing to die for her. I had seen her work her magic before, so I just sat there and enjoyed the ride. Then the orchestra started playing and I grabbed her, pushed her to the floor and took two steps. It took her about thirty seconds to figure it out. I discovered she had a college degree in dance. The song turned into a line dance, then a cowboy cha-cha. By this time I was out of breath and I pulled her back to the table, displeasure evident on her face. I grabbed Greg.
“I’m going out, brother. See if you can stay.” Before he knew what was happening, she pulled him out of his chair. Thirty minutes later she brought him back in gasping like he was having a heart attack. She actually sat down and drank a beer. Ten minutes later the band played a very slow song. It was a crowd favorite and they jokingly called it the “Snuggle Special.” She stood up from her chair and pulled harder, so I followed suit. It was probably one of the sexiest things I’ve ever experienced, and she didn’t know it. She sculpted me, moving her voluptuous body in front of me, not allowing any dead spots. The inevitable happened and I tried to pull away. She looked surprised, then smiled, tightened her grip and even rubbed him a few times. When the song stopped, I felt nervous and it took her a while to let me go. When I did this I immediately blushed and ran to the bathroom and washed my face and hands with as much cold water as I could get my hands on to try to calm down.
When I came back she had Greg on the floor. I saw him twirling and swaying to the music, his ballet training on full display. By then, poetry in motion was just a word to me. Then Barb tried to ruin the mood by throwing a tantrum. “James, James, you naughty boy. I thought you said you would never have an affair with a married man. Of course, what man could resist that?” she glared at Jane. Before four kids and three divorces, Barb was a wonderful woman. She is only thirty-four, and her makeup and lighting are perfect, and she is still attractive. Not so much in daylight.
She thought I would get lucky and finish fourth and ran towards me while she was still in third. I didn’t tell her, but the thought of being intimate with him was enough to give me goosebumps. They don’t make condoms that strong. It would have been easy for me to disappoint her, I would have stroked her ego by saying that although the offer is great, I would pass on it. I have strict rules for married women. Leave them alone. She was walking around the club, looking around, when three guys finally grabbed her and kicked her to the side. She received child support from three different fathers and won a little cash in her last divorce. My opinion is that he finally decided to pay her and leave her alone. So she has no job and lives with her ex-boyfriend.
“It won’t be easy, but it can be done, Barb. Her husband is one of my best friends in the world, and I would never do anything to make her despise me. She’s not available, Jane wants to go out, so it’s perfectly harmless fun for her, she’s having a great time, have you ever seen her at the tables or on the dance floor with the people she’s dancing with, they’ll have a story to tell for the rest of their lives. There once was a woman who was ranked the fourth most beautiful woman in the world.
“Nonsense! I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and I’ve seen the way you look at her when she’s not looking. She’s infatuated, and you’re in love too.”
“Maybe so, Barbara. But I love her? So what? She doesn’t love me, and even if she did, I’m so far out of reach that I might as well try to catch the sun. I’m just grateful for that, I’m a friend whose husband trusts both of us, try to remember trust and deserve it, I’m sure no woman would ever trust her husband to you or keep him with her with all the faith and love she has for you, what about attraction?
Her eyes widened and her face turned pale, then red, then pale. Then she surprised me by crying, first with small tears, then big tears and finally heart wrenching sobs. I didn’t know what to do and the thought that I was causing her pain made me so sad that I hugged her which made the tears even bigger. I patted her back until she smelled a slight odor. I didn’t see it, but Jane came back. She immediately pulled a big bundle of tissues out of her purse and started wiping her face gently because her smell had stopped. Then she surprised everyone by taking the hands of half the women at the table and leading them into the bathroom with her.
Jane knows quite a bit about makeup, thanks to her modeling career. When she and Barb reappear, the transformation is striking. Gone are the strong lines and heavy makeup. She did wear makeup, but it was light, not concealing but flattering. Her hair is different and looks softer and more natural. I noticed her shirt was unbuttoned and for the first time she wasn’t flashing her cleavage in your face. Oh, and the top two buttons are still undone, giving a seductive hint rather than an obvious advertisement.
It didn’t take long for the boys to notice. Many didn’t realize who she was until they were in her presence. Men who passed by her suddenly found themselves asking her to dance, and for the first time since I’ve known her, she said no multiple times. It took me a second to realize that when someone asked her to dance, she would look at Jane and say “yes” or “no” based on her expression.
We ended the night on a high note, watching Barbara and her female friends leave rather than casually join in. I just drove and listened to Jane’s satisfied hum. She hums uncontrollably when she’s really happy. We drove to her mansion, entered the code on the keypad and I parked the truck in the garage.
It was two in the morning and she told me in no uncertain terms that I was staying the night. At that point I had been up for about twenty hours and it seemed like a good idea. We managed to get Steve up and into bed, then I went into the guest room and collapsed. It was ten o’clock when I woke up. I found Jane and Steve at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Jane looked as beautiful as ever, and Steve still looked a little green. I laughed.
“Man, am I hungry? I think I’ll make some breakfast. Red hot sausage, eggs, peppers and onions, coated in hot sauce. Even better, I’ll make my famous breakfast chili and put it on top of the eggs and greasy fried potatoes would be wrong if they weren’t dripping when served, and the eggs need to be liquid so the peppers can cook and absorb the flavor, plus a couple of cups of Tabasco sauce makes them salivate just thinking about it.”
Steve’s face grew green until he jumped up and ran into the bathroom. I yelled at him as he retreated. “Here’s redneck wisdom, Steve. Just because you brought a case of beer doesn’t mean you have to drink a case of beer. Now, how about breakfast?”
Jen patted my arm, smiled and made a bagel toasted with jam and cream cheese. It almost sent Steve back to the bathroom. I probably drank four cups of coffee. They bought the best and made a NASA designed maker. I think it also takes air pressure into account when making the brew. Steve returned to the couch as Jen walked me back to my truck.
“I had a lot of fun last night. Thank you. It’s been a while since I left the house for a night with no agenda other than having fun. I envy you.”
“Why, because I live a simple life? I probably make as much in a year as Steve makes in two or three days. I have to worry about bills, mortgage and car payments, and wonder if my job will last, or if I can continue working.
