Chapter 1: April 1998 Jack Loves Janice
This is very unusual. Janice calls and says they need to talk as soon as possible, using the little girl voice she used when things got really serious. They are engaged. He asked her two months ago, the night they went shopping together. He picked one out, but it wasn’t the right size – it was a little loose, so it took him a few minutes to get it right and she walks away with it on her finger. They proudly visit her parents.
He has known Janice since first grade. They often went to the same classes and saw each other in sports, recitals and performances. She was class valedictorian her senior year and received a scholarship to the Marine Corps. He always loved her, always. Everyone thought they would get married one day after college, her parents insisted. Her parents just nodded and smiled at the good advice. They are seniors in college now and virginity weighs heavy on them, but they have restrained themselves. He hoped that on their wedding night, it would be for her and them. The ring told everyone what they already knew: Jack loved Janice, and Janice loved Jack.
It was an April day when they met under the oak tree in her backyard, where her parents had set up chairs and a small table, and the place was quiet in the warm spring sun. They often sat there with her family, drinking soda, setting off fireworks on the Fourth of July, or talking about politics, religion, or baseball. Only Janice was with him this afternoon. They were a month and a half away from graduating from college, she from the University of Cincinnati and he from Miami. Different schools are tough, but this year she only lives on campus and her school is only a half hour from home. They thought the matter was settled. The wedding was scheduled for two weeks after graduation. In July, they reported to Quantico that they planned a modest honeymoon.
He looked at her and took a deep breath. “I have something to say, but it’s not easy.”
He felt something in his chest: pain, fear, dread.
“I always said I wanted to be a virgin on our wedding night. We have many opportunities to do so…” she said, taking his hand. From the knoll beneath the oak trees they looked out over her house and beyond.
“Yes, it’s not easy,” he said, smiling. “Have you changed your mind? We still have time…”
But no, he shook his head. He did not grant quick access.
“I failed, Jack,” she almost whispered. “I let you down.”
“What do you mean?” she asked. He didn’t understand. Every time she said she had failed he squeezed her hand. “Class? I know you have a conflict with that law teacher, but…”
“No, not in class. I…I had sex with someone, Jack. A boy from school.”
She thought something serious was going to happen, but it wasn’t. He made her the epitome of purity, justice, love, and all the good things men and women can find in each other. He had always lived up to her standards, even during his Marine Corps summer assignments away from home. He was faithful to a woman who wouldn’t have sex with him…yet, wouldn’t marry him…yet, wouldn’t live with him…yet. Two summers ago, they had their second beer on a Westpac cruise ship instead of going to a bar in South Korea for a beer. They had many opportunities then and in other places and times.
But Janice wanted them both to be virgins and learn about sex together – and they did that, she thought, touching, kissing and doing all these things that they hoped would reduce their sexual desire but would only increase it, making it harder for them to say no. No, but they did, they said no. Or at least they said, yes, but not yet.
She said, her voice now a clear whisper, “I met him in class in November and I fell in love with him, Jack. Love him, even though I’ve loved you for a lot longer. But he’s tall and he dresses really nice. “I slept with him just once, two months ago. But it happened again on the Saturday of your Marine Corps visit, and I realized I loved him too.”
Her reality collapsed. She felt something inside her chest that she had never felt before, crushing her heart and lungs, leaving them without any space.
“Two months ago? Before or after you got the ring?”
She looks shy. “The next night.”
He reached into his pocket, pulled out something and handed her the ring. He looked at her left hand. She wore a diamond engagement ring that was bigger than the one she had chosen a month ago. He looked at the ring in his palm.
“You were engaged to two men at the same time?” he asked in disbelief. She shook her head.
She lowered her head. “I know I didn’t treat you right, Jack. I love you, but Kevin is the man I always wanted. You’re the man I always had. You belong to my past. He belongs to my past. It seemed prepared and rehearsed.
He looked at her, stopping himself. He remembered her confession of love when they had been friends, classmates, and asexual lovers for fifteen years. He remembered all the kid things they had done together, like building snow forts, pulling bee stings out of his feet while holding a snake in his hand to show her, throwing baseballs, and playing rugby with other boys and girls. He remembered the white dress she wore to Confirmation, the balls they attended, eating together in the cafeteria, and all the things kids did when they transformed from friends to lovers. He felt a strong grip on his chest. He truly loved her, and only her, forever. Now he would transform into something else, and he would live with that pain forever.
He stood up. “Yes, I agree. I have been deceived.” Then he left her, holding the ring in his clammy palms despite her cries that she wanted to say more. For the next few minutes all he could do was stare ahead.
He drove around Sky Gray dazed and numb, forcing himself to look at the road, the traffic, the people. Tired of this, he went home and talked to his mother, who called his father back home. His father, a strong, cold man with a long chin who had always loved Janice, shook his head as if he needed to clear the air. He no longer understands how the universe works. He is a Euclidean in quantum reality. Jack without Janice seemed impossible.
The phone rang and Jack’s mother answered. She spoke quietly for a few minutes and then returned to the living room. “That’s Maggie,” she said. Janice’s mother. “Janice is pregnant.”
His father looked at Jack, and his mother looked at Jack, but Jack just shook his head. “No, not me. She had sex with Kevin.” He stopped and looked at his parents. “I feel like an idiot.”
*
Chapter 2: Seal Unmanned Numbers, February 2001
“Lieutenant, we’re reviewing your service record.”
Leslie stood at attention in front of a table, on the other side of which sat Captain Samuel Lejoy, Rear Admiral (he preferred the archaic term “commodore”) Elias Jensen, as well as Navy Captain Juanita Estevez sitting on the other side of the table. The table was covered with newspapers. He looked down quietly and saw several photographs of himself – one of them was his own photo, and many of the photos were taken at various schools and events he had attended. His mandatory service period had been extended from four to six years due to having spent the previous 20 months overseas. He had spent almost three years in school since joining the Corps. He did not regret the extra two years: he had no other responsibilities, no wife, no children, and had devoted himself to these projects since graduating from college. He came home three times during school holidays, but spent most of his free time reading: professional journals, novels, articles on foreign policy and the military.
“Lieutenant, do you have a personal life?” the captain asked.
“Madame?” he asked. His head was confused.
“How are you? You don’t seem to have any special friends, no girlfriends, just your parents in Ohio, and you see them very rarely – are you separated?” “We have no reports of any sexual activity, no best friend, no bar fights. The Israelis reported that you read in your spare time, wrote some but did not correspond with anyone except family members. We want to know what happened.
“Oh yes, sir. I had a girlfriend for several years, but she was married to someone else before TBS, so I guess the Marines became my life. Then I volunteered and went on an exchange to Israel before IOC ended and pretty much started over again. That school was tough, I made some friends, dated here and there, but I was always that American boy who eventually went home – I knew my position was unique in my skydiving skills, small arms, infiltration, and assassination.
“So,” the Brigadier said, “you are a soldier, so now you are not a soldier anymore? We want to know if you can work with the SEALs. US Navy SEALs are highly trained just like any military. Some are married, some have kids, some have girlfriends, how are you getting along outside of school or events?
Leslie said, “I didn’t know about Colonel Meyer’s letter, but it made me happy. I felt she didn’t like me.” During her last six months in Israel, Meyer resented her. He didn’t know what her role was in Shayetet, but she was always watching.
“Yes, Colonel Meir – a woman? I don’t know the Hebrew name – thought a lot of you,” Captain Estevez said. “She said you have the ability to get along with people of different faiths, races, religions. She was impressed with your performance in the fights and said you broke up the fight before someone’s career was in danger.”
Leslie smiled at the memory. “Yes, there are two groups that are having heated arguments about how to deal with terrorists. Most of them have had relatives killed or injured in terrorist attacks. I am not an officer, these are mixed officers and soldiers, we have never been identified as such and I feel like I was not close to any of them, which was helpful for me, but they all thought they knew me and they thought I was naive.
The Captain and the Colonel looked at each other as if discussing the issue. The Brigadier’s face was expressionless.
“So do you think an officer, even a second lieutenant, should keep his distance from his soldiers?” Captain Estevez asked.
“Yes, ma’am. My intention is not to avoid being likable or friendly. I mean to always maintain a professional barrier. Working as a team is important, but that doesn’t mean it has to be democratic.”
Leslie remained focused, wondering why. Usually, officers are more collegial.
“We are considering not assigning you to Delta as originally planned, Lieutenant.” The surprise came from the Brigadier General, who was looking Leslie in the eye.
“Yes,” the Captain continued, “there is a SEAL team that is created to carry out certain missions. It will not be assigned to a specific geographic location, it will simply be inserted where it is needed. The team will be small, and largely independent.
The Captain, Brigadier General, and Lieutenant Colonel stood up, and the Captain came around the table. The Lieutenant Colonel handed him a small box. As Leslie stood still, he removed his Lieutenant’s two silver bars and replaced them with a new double-striped Marine Captain’s badge.
“Congratulations, Captain.” He shook hands, and then the Brigadier and Lieutenant Colonel did the same. They all returned to their seats. “Comfortable.”
Leslie relaxed, folding her hands behind her back and spreading her legs.
“But all your experience was in school,” the Colonel continued. “What does that get you — two ribbons on your chest? Oh, and the Israeli ribbon. These guys know about other people’s combat ribbons. You’d be treated like crap, Captain. And you’re not a SEAL. They might not know how a non-SEAL leads a SEAL team, but you have it.”
Leslie was breathing a little fast. He had been a lieutenant for about a year, but very few people were promoted to captain so quickly.
“What do you think, Captain?” the Colonel asked.
“I thought you called me here to send me to Prague with Delta. Where would I go with the seals?”
“First in the bay, where you’ll train with the SEALs, practicing different scenarios, specifically hostage rescue, fire rescue, night drops and HALO jumps. Rappelling. But mostly working together. Sayet and we have a different approach, but based on the same principles,” the captain said.
Leslie smiled, then softened her expression.
“Anything interesting, Captain?”
“More training, ma’am.”
She saw it and smiled. “But you’ll be training with the people you’ll be fighting with right now. And that’s only for six weeks. We’ll be handing over your ship by then. You’ll probably be going into a war zone, Captain, we expect war is coming, it’s not just the Taliban, it’s going to be a different kind of war – it may not involve nation states, it may just be a distraction.”
“Report to your commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Luke Ormond, tomorrow. Since this team consists of a non-SEAL and a different organization, we will assign it to a detachment team, which we will officially call a SEAL team.
“Yes, ma’am,” Leslie said. “I went there straight from Israel. Home for a week. Ready to go, ma’am. And I’m ready to fight. School is great, but… I want to take advantage of all this training.”
The Colonel and Captain nodded. The Brigadier’s expression was firm and expressionless.
They stood up. “Good luck, Captain. Go find some new badges. Congratulations,” the Captain said, extending his hand for a shake. He extended his hand in return and shook hers, the Brigadier’s, and the Colonel’s hands. Realizing the meeting was ignoring normal military protocol, he was surprised the SEAL Admiral took on the role of observer;
He said, “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.” He stepped back and turned away.
He did not say anything for a moment. “Of course he was calm. They all commented on it,” Lt. Col. Rajoy said.
“Hopefully he’ll do well in the fight. He’s just as trained as anybody else. I wonder if it’s worth it to train a guy to shoot and possibly waste all that time and energy,” Estevez said, shaking his head.
“Hopefully things won’t come to that,” the brigadier general recalled his fallen comrade saying. “But there’s always a risk, right?”
*
“Enter!” came a voice from behind the door. Leslie opened the door and walked toward the desk, followed by Lieutenant Luke Ormond.
“Excuse me, sir. Captain Jacob Leslie reports as ordered, sir.”
Ormond looked at his second-in-command, a tall, burly man who looked like a guard. The man is huge. Ormond looked down at his record—three miles in 17? Such a big man? He shook his head and looked at the date of his run—three weeks earlier. Perhaps, he thought, Israeli clocks ran slow.
“Don’t worry, Captain. By the way, congratulations on your promotion.” Ormond stood up and extended his hand.
Leslie shook it, said “Thank you, sir,” and resumed his parade rest position.
“Please have a seat. Do you mind if I call you Jacob in private?”
“No, sir, but my friends usually call me Jack.” Ormond noticed that Leslie had not asked to be called Luke. He agreed. Jack sat down and the two officers looked at each other.
Ormond said, “Jack, yes. You moved up the ranks pretty fast. I wasn’t promoted to lieutenant until I was 28.” (Navy lieutenant and Marine Corps captain are the same rank.)
“Yes, sir, what a surprise. School after school, but no real time in the fleet. I’ve never been in combat, sir, and that weighs heavy on me. What must all this mean.”
“Are you worried you’re going to fail? Or make a mistake?” Ormond asked.
“Yes, very much so. The stress of training is one thing, but when bullets are flying, when people are counting on me and I need to complete a mission, I want to be able to do it.”
“Yes, I understand.” The commander turned a page of the records. “I see you are not married, you have no children and you are now 25 years old. Is your family not interested in you?”
Leslie looked uncomfortable. “I wanted a family sir, I thought it was a big part of my future but it didn’t work out for me. I didn’t have a steady girl or any other girls in my life. Do you have a family, sir?” he asks.
“I do,” the Commander said, turning one of the photographs on the table towards Leslie. “My wife Julia, children Rose and little Luke.”
Leslie felt nothing for a moment, but then… it felt a little like jealousy. “Wonderful family, Sir. Is Luke about 4?”
“She is. Hopefully Julia will start playing this spring.”
“Amazing.”
After this there was silence.
“You know, it’s best not to start a family too early,” the commander said.
Leslie smiled. “It is not my intention to make a hasty decision in this regard, Sir.”
Ormond nodded and turned off the record. “Today, before we go running, before we eat, I’m going to introduce you to those guys. You have to make a brief statement. They may not know what being a Marine means to you. I’m not sure.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t explain it. Let them discuss it and decide for themselves. Should I wear the Israeli seal badge?”
“Maybe Riddle is better,” Ormond said, smiling wryly about Jack’s age. Many are close to that. He believes it’s best to have differences between the leader and the led in a small special unit.
“Yes, sir,” said Jack.
Then they talked about plans, deadlines, meetings, people, plans and policies. Ormond hopes that the introduction to the team, which he believes should be low-key, practical and constructive, will go smoothly. The second-in-command was still a Marine at such a young age. This force was unique: small in size and large in scale because the intention was to use it on unknown borders that might not belong to the enemy. He needs a number 2 who can take over immediately in a pinch. The senior joining the military is an experienced man with great qualifications; he wants to pay close attention to their relationship. Leslie and CPO Ortiz need to work together to build trust.
*
September 2001, Southern Syria
Living in the Syrian desert, miles from the nearest community, did not provide opportunities for developing childhood friendships. In fact, the Haddads were avoiding their neighbors, hoping no one would know they had moved into the little house Mr. Aglai had found. They had a field across the dirt road where they could try growing vegetables if Sarah had to stay long enough, but now their real hope was to escape. Jordan is not far, and neither is Israel. They had water, and Mr. Aglai brought them groceries about once a week until they left. Adnan wondered if they should leave and try to cross the border on foot, but Mr. Aglai said there were two communities and some extremists in the way.
After the birth of her child, Sara became more active and spent most of her time taking care of her other three children. The baby nursed, cried intermittently and then slept. As the summer progressed, the heat gradually subsided. But Rifat had no friends, he just read a few books and had a football on which to press. Sara calls it football. So Adnan attacked Rifat because he was unable to work due to threats against Christians, while his wife and children were Christians.
