Chapter 1
Some say that life is a road, and the forks in the road are determined by individual decisions at every moment. If that’s the case, then the choice that took a devastating turn for Ryan Gilchrist one day was a small choice that had such a big impact. Maybe that’s always the case. Who knows?
Gilchrist’s crew was converting the garage into an extra bedroom, and the homeowner spoke enthusiastically to a friend about the quality of the work being done. Ryan didn’t understand what was going on at first and grabbed the phone from the owner’s outstretched hand. He got the man’s friend on the phone and asked for an estimate for a kitchen remodel. A friend said it was an anniversary gift for his wife. Ryan’s small construction company needed work, so he scheduled a meeting just after noon.
That friend lived on the other side of town, and the most direct route was about a mile from where the Gilchrists lived. Still, if the Red Taurus hadn’t stopped Ryan, he wouldn’t have stopped near the house. Ryan had to quickly get into the left turn lane and once he was there, he couldn’t get out. He had to turn around. After that, it was actually easier to get home and take another major east/west route from there than to get back to his original road in heavy afternoon traffic.
He wasn’t that sad. A laptop with an Excel spreadsheet and a small CAD program would make interviews with potential new clients much easier. He would use the former to make an accurate estimate for the client, and the latter would show the man and his wife a fairly good 3D representation of the finished kitchen.
Oh yes, he could have done it easily without them. He knew everything about pricing calculations and could even diagram them very well. When you come to it, you realize that the decision to bring a laptop from home is a very small thing that changes one’s life.
Ryan stopped in front of the house and was surprised to see his wife’s brown Toyota Corolla parked in the driveway. Several years ago, Carrie got a job as a teller at a large bank branch in town. She works hard and has received several raises. The hours were fine; she only had to work half a day on Saturdays, or even a quarter of the weekend. However, this Saturday was not on her schedule, and even though it was supposed to be a day off, it was not her day off.
He did not know why Carrie was at home. This worried him because it was so unlike her character. He walked quickly around the house and entered through the kitchen door.
The door hinges are well lubricated. After all, he’s a building contractor. Making sure minor repairs around the house are taken care of promptly is a point of professional pride. Everything is so well maintained. He loved things like that; he hated squeaking, drawers that wouldn’t open, windows that wouldn’t close… things like that drove him crazy.
Neither the screen door nor the kitchen door made any noticeable noise when he opened it. The couple he could see through the door probably wouldn’t have heard him anyway. They were too caught up in each other.
Ryan froze when he saw them. He never thought he would see his wife in another man’s arms, or kissing her… he certainly never thought he would see another man grab Carrie’s bare right breast and use his fast moving thumb to pinch the nipples into dark red erections.
Carrie is topless. Ryan notices her shirt and bra lying on the couch next to her. Her skirt is pulled up to the top of her pantyhose and Ryan can see the man’s other hand on her pussy. Carrie’s hands were obscured by the man’s body, but her upper right arm and elbow were clearly visible. They move rhythmically back and forth. There was no doubt that her hand was on this strange man’s cock and she was slowly fucking him. Her half-naked body shows that the hand job is only preliminary.
“Jesus, Carrie,” the man said in a raspy voice, “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, so don’t tease me, okay?” His voice became a little more sad at the end. Carrie giggled happily.
“Do you have any, Marshall?” she replied in a sharp, polite voice. She was playing with the man. She moved her hands towards his chest and pressed her lower body against his chest.
“Is it worth the wait?” she asked charmingly.
A terrible rage consumed Ryan. He hadn’t expected this; he couldn’t do this. He could only react. For a moment he was stunned. With the next beat of his heart, he moved quickly, walking with purpose through the kitchen and into the living room. His left foot planted firmly on the carpet, and his right leg lifted up, making a hard arc that reached the man’s crotch.
At the last moment, “Marshall” feels something behind him…perhaps the whizz of Ryan’s shoes on the carpet, or his looming presence. Without thinking, Marshall ignores the danger he has not yet properly identified and comes into close contact with Carrie. This is unfortunate for the women. Had he stayed still, he probably wouldn’t have been hurt.
The blow of Ryan’s heavy workman’s boots struck the opponent’s testicles hard, sending the opponent’s entire body flying forward and upward. Ryan is a strong man and took a few steps to gain momentum. It was just the steel-reinforced tip of the boot that hit Carey’s groin, but it was enough.
Sensitive nerve endings immediately activated, sending pain signals to both of their severely confused brains. It wasn’t long before they were gasping and screaming. A sudden sharp pain in their stomachs knocked them out of their bodies. They stumbled onto the couch and clung to it.
Ryan has time to bring his right foot back to the floor and prepares himself for more punishment. His usually cheerful face turns into a look of bitter anger. He takes a step further into the living room, closer to the interrupted lovers. He originally planned to inflict more damage on the man in front of him, but suddenly found that there was no need.
Marshall, whoever he was…Ryan didn’t recognize him…started screaming at the top of his lungs, filling the room. A moment later Carrie let out an even louder scream. Both fell to the ground and writhed in pain.
The unbearable pain could be compared to the most creative tortures of the Marquis de Sade. Marshall and Carrie are locked in their own private worlds, unable to do anything but scream so loudly that their voices almost break.
Ryan stepped back and watched the two men grapple on the floor, screams echoing in his ears. He saw his wife’s breasts bouncing wildly on her chest and her body shaking uncontrollably. Although the lower body was covered by stockings, it was still exposed. He saw his palm pressed tightly against her pussy. The other man’s penis was still protruding from his zipper. The blood had not had time to drain. Still hard… still ready to be inserted into Carrie’s willing pussy.
This display of obscenity made Ryan sick, but something else was wrong. He lowered his head. He was horrified when he noticed a bulge in his overalls. He realized his cock was hard, perhaps harder than before, longer and thicker. Deep shame overcame the anger in his heart, making it disappear in a heartbeat. He felt ashamed. His own body had betrayed him.
He cannot be aroused by watching his wife having sex with another man. It is impossible; he is not that kind of person. His roar, born of renewed anger and deep humiliation, merges with the anguished screams of the other two.
******
Much later, when Ryan reflected on the incident, he found himself struggling with the desire to use the Glock Model 21 in the holster. From time to time he was glad he hadn’t pulled it out. At that moment, every nerve in his body was screaming for him to use it to kill the two men who had insulted him. Sometimes he wondered if he would keep a bullet with him to wash the betrayal from his body. The gun’s magazine held thirteen rounds of ammunition, and he was carrying the weapon and another round of ammunition in the chamber. Fourteen .45 ACP caliber bullets are enough…
The desire for violence did not bother him then, and does not worry him unduly today. When Ryan Lincoln Gilchrist was seven, his parents died in a car accident and he was raised by his grandfather. His mother’s father was half-Comanche, and the old man was close to his grandfather . Ryan soon learned that his great-grandfather, who had died twice, had participated in many raids as a young warrior in the late 1800s. He and his comrades made many raids from the Llano Estacado in West Texas into central and eastern Texas. This warrior died defending the last stronghold of the Comanches from soldiers who had come to punish them for killing Anglos and Mexicans.
His grandfather took young Ryan on many camping trips to the plateau. He would show the boy secret places known only to the descendants of the old raiders…places where the Angles and Little Indians still did not go. The wilderness of those windswept high plains still haunted Ryan. He loved the solitude of the rugged countryside. It awakened something inside him that made him want to return many times. Things were simpler there…just himself, the wilderness, and the need to survive.
No, he wanted the end of these two adulterous lovers, but that didn’t matter to him. In fact, he had been sad for a while because he had n’t taken care of them . That feeling is gone. After all, this is the 21st century . People can’t do things like that anymore.
He had a much worse problem. He is in a whole lot of trouble after finding out about Carrie’s infidelity. It was not just a mental image of him coming home and finding his wife having sex. Betrayal. He becomes physically aroused when he sees his wife preparing to have sex with another man, which humiliates him massively. He doesn’t understand. It makes him a lesser man and he can’t live with himself. He is so depressed that he then contemplates suicide.
It took six difficult weeks before a psychiatrist agreed to take him in for a series of individual sessions. The wildness in his eyes disturbed two other counselors, who found they had no chance to see him during the practice. But Dr. Christopher is over seventy years old. Nothing can frighten him. He turned out to be a godsend.
******
The doctors said it was a primitive reaction from her body. Male animals, including humans, have an instinct built into their brains that drives them to reproduce. He tells Ryan it has to do with the reproduction of the species.
Doctors say it ‘s all about semen competition . Many researchers also believe that the male penis actually evolved as a “tool” for men to displace other men’s semen from a woman’s vagina and replace it with their own semen. The doctors explain how the shape of the penis – with its large head and relatively narrow shaft – can displace existing semen in a woman’s vagina and “pump” it out.
Dr. Christopher explained to Ryan that when he saw his wife’s half naked body and another man’s penis displayed so openly, he had an urge to put another man’s semen into a woman’s vagina. The doctors said that Ryan was a civilized person, but no civilization can overcome some deep-rooted primitive instincts. The most primitive human instincts still lurked in Ryan’s subconscious, and when he encountered illicit sex scenes without preparation, his subconscious mind overpowered him. Now that he knew what it was, it probably wouldn’t happen again. The conscious mind can be given priority in these cases.
What he learned was more than Ryan ever wanted to know . When he first realized that this was his initial reaction to a situation he was not prepared for, he felt at peace. Everything else added information he didn’t need. He assured the doctor that this would never happen again . Dr. Christopher noted the seriousness of Ryan’s expression as he said this. This is disturbing… threatening, that is.
******
It had been a tough four years. He and Carrie managed to stay together, but it was a close-knit affair. Her preoccupation with her body’s reactions had troubled him for a long time. When he came out of his confusion months later, he discovered that Carrie had been doing everything possible to show him that she wanted the marriage to “work.”
She showered him with love, respect and admiration, providing him with all kinds of sexual favors all the time. In short, she is doing everything she can to keep him as her husband. She is deeply remorseful. Ryan has no doubts. He was angry about the deception and infidelity, but he was clearly repentant.
After a while, he didn’t want to leave her and asked for a divorce. The separation ended a few weeks later when Carrie found him at a local motel and cried and begged him to come home. They underwent marriage counseling for over a year to get their marriage back on track.
Sex never fully recovered, and while casual sex improved after counseling, the specific sex they had to express their love did not improve. A year and a half ago, Carrie noticed that Ryan did not like her touching his right breast, which she had seen being touched by another man. She quickly figured out why…and got to the bottom of why he really didn’t care that she had his cock in her hand. This led to another round of counseling, this time with each of them meeting individually with their couples counselor in addition to joint counseling. After quite some time, the sex got better, but it was never the same. The core of their relationship was broken and never recovered.
After deciding that Ryan’s love for the old house was over, Carrie asked him to buy a new house. There were so many triggers in the house that they bought as a “fixer-upper” and built a nice home. At unexpected moments, Ryan would find himself staring at the area of carpet where Carrie and his sexual partner had been writhing in agony that day. It was clear to both Ryan and Carrie that he could no longer come in through the back door without wondering what the living room would look like from the door.
The two-story house they found for a good price (in a really nice neighborhood) had four bedrooms. In many ways, it was too much for the two of them, and they were always behind on the housework. But they kept it and said they would develop it.
He said, There was a time during their reconciliation process when they actually talked about having kids, but Carrie didn’t really want kids… not yet. For months, the discussion of having kids waned and disappeared. They also discussed having kids after marriage, but Carrie had career plans and kids didn’t fit into her vision at the time… and they still don’t fit. When she dropped the topic this time, Ryan decided he would never bring up the idea of having kids again. The decision left him feeling empty, but he didn’t know what he could do.
Eventually, Ryan overcame most of his conscious and unconscious disgust at his wife’s cheating and moved on from her adultery. Eventually he had to remind himself that neither he nor Carrie were virgins when they married. It wasn’t easy, but he forced himself to think about the man he was with just as he had thought about the unnamed men he had been with before he met Carrie.
Things improved, but Ryan couldn’t get back together with his wife. Something was off in the relationship, something he couldn’t define, but he knew it was over. Despite his advisers’ efforts to publicize it, they never actually sat down to discuss his adultery. Neither Ryan nor Carrie wanted to reveal the details. Maybe they should. Ryan doesn’t know.
******
Ryan will turn thirty-three in July, and there are days when he feels all of that and more. Today is just a bad day. In March, he was dismayed when he found a small spot of brown on each temple. Carrie just shrugged. They gave her a regal look, he said. Ryan stared at her as she casually walked away.
Extraordinary? That’s how young women describe older men. It’s the kiss of death in the mating game. He was so impressed that she brought the subject up again a few weeks later. She didn’t have to worry about it, he assured her. He’s a married man and not in the game anymore . She felt better… not much… but a little.
He didn’t like it at all. Oh, he had learned to live with the gray hair, but by the end of spring he was beginning to worry about other things. He wasn’t sure how long his marriage would last. Although she was affectionate and attentive most of the time, there was something different about her attitude and behavior these days since Ryan found out that she was with another man.
He wasn’t in trouble the first time she started an unnecessary argument, the first time she needlessly criticized him, or the first time she seemed a little distant for no reason. He didn’t get mad the first time, or the second he found out she wasn’t where she said she was. However, having experienced such things so many times, he already understood what was going on. Soon, there was no longer any doubt.
All the signs were now there that she was cheating. They had been there for three months, since Carrie’s recent promotion. This was not entirely unexpected. He was constantly worried that it would happen again, so he trained himself to keep an eye out for the first sign that her behavior was starting to change.
Over the past four years, he has read a lot of books, most of which were purchased with cash at various second-hand bookstores. Some of these books are written by doctors of psychiatry or psychology, and others are written by licensed counselors with no other degrees. Most of them discuss in depth the psychology of a cheating spouse and talk about ways to recover from adultery. However, some of them are written by retired private investigators. Ryan found this set of books to be the most interesting…and useful.
These books explain how to catch cheaters. They go into detail about certain indicators that should set off alarm bells in the mind of an alert spouse. Some of them contain a hundred or more signs that a wife or husband may be unfaithful. One was written by a team of investigators and psychologists, and Ryan found it very informative. Other books focus on detective techniques. Some of them even use the term to describe a spouse suspected of cheating.
She now has a fine library of such books. She hid them in a locker in the garage where Carrie never went. She hated the cobwebs in the corners of the garage and the pile of heavy, greasy rags in front of the trash can, and she trembled whenever she came within ten feet of the trash can.
